KILIMANJARO CAN SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE
Reversing Love’s Downhill Slope
We know when our marriages are heading downhill. The fire has ebbed, the communication lines are down and we reach for Dr. Phyllis’ phone number. Dr. Phyl is the neighborhood marriage counselor your aged aunt recommended, but we’ve got a better alternative. Climb Kilimanjaro with your mate and follow these simple suggestions.
Be a Bearded Mountain Man
For your entire marriage you shaved every day because you thought that’s what she liked (as well as your boss.) When you climb Kilimanjaro no one cares. It’s not up to them anyway, so let that wild beard you’ve always wanted to grow—grow. By day three you’re looking rakish in your post metro sexual stubble. By day eight you’re practically Jeremiah Johnson standing atop the mountain. You are now that ruggedly handsome bloke you aspired to be. As she kisses you atop the summit she asks, “Marvin why didn’t you grow your beard ten years ago?”
You both have been pushing up the mountain for days and hygiene has been at a premium. But that primal scent doesn’t fill your tent, just your natural manly aroma. Your body doesn’t stink because you have been wearing high quality merino wool undergarments. She will love you for your thoughtful gesture to keep your body smelling sweet.
Adam and Eve – In the Bag
You’re in Africa astride its tallest mountain, no wonder you’re aroused. This is where human life began and Africa is in your genetic makeup. Get amorous; Kili’s mountain gods have much better things to worry about, besides they actually endorse your marital bliss. Just save some energy for tomorrow, lover boy/lover girl, because the summit beckons.
Hairy Legs and All
Growing up in America you’ve shaved your legs since grade school, but now you’re on Kilimanjaro. Let your inner primal being loose; don’t shave and see what happens. He might go nuts and find it attractive. Hair it goes again!
Climbing Marriage Mountain
Every marriage needs togetherness goals. It’s not material things but stuff you remember for a lifetime. On a Kilimanjaro climb, a couple’s new goal emerges—reaching the summit. It’s an apt metaphor for a marriage. The summit symbolizes happiness and by reaching it we can conquer the world. We get there by supporting each other on life’s arduous journey. Hold her hand, give her a big kiss and celebrate. You made it to the top of Africa with someone you love. Take all that happiness home and never forget how damn lucky you are to have been atop Kilimanjaro together.